“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts”
This weeks coffee Monday topic isn’t something all people can relate to. So if you don’t care about motherhood this might not be the read for you.
This blog post hits home for me, it wasn’t easy adjusting to motherhood. It took a while but eventually, I got the hang of it.
When I had my first child, I wasn’t so prepared –mentally/emotionally. I had everything prepared (thank god for my mothers help) from the clothing to the crib, car seat and everything in between; it was already set up and waiting for the baby to arrive. When my son did arrive, I didn’t realize how emotionally draining it would be. I have been around newborns, babies and toddler’s all the time but it’s nothing compared to having my own. My son, from the start, was super colicky, didn’t sleep a lot and cried pretty all the time. I soon realized he wanted to be held all the time, it was the only way he would calm down. I was in for surprise, it was hella hard and I felt like a failure because I didn’t know what to do. I was angry, full of anxiety and just miserable. As horrible as that sounds that how it was for me for the first couple of months. I wasn’t used to a crying baby 24/7, I felt defeated and exhausted. All that settled down a couple of months down the road when I started to get into the hang of the “mommy life”
Fast forward 3 years later and another baby and I somewhat feel as if I kind of have it nailed down. I was more confident of myself and knew what I was doing, it was much, much easier the second time.
I started to think, what advice can I give new mom’s that I wish I would’ve received first time around.
- Prepare– You must and need to prepare for your child. I know most women do, getting the crib, stroller, bottles and everything in between for the arrival of your newborn. But this isn’t that type of preparation I am talking about, it’s about understanding newborns, learning the in’s and out’s of how they function and what to expect really from them. I know most women have this maternal instinct when the baby arrives, or maybe even before but it helps to know what you’re expecting. Especially if it’s your first, I recommend reading this book “What to Expect the First Year”. It’s indeed a great read.
- Being frustrated and confused is okay– I always felt bad whenever I didn’t know what to do. Little did I know, I wasn’t the only woman in the world who didn’t know what the hell she was doing with this tiny human. The best thing you can do at that moment is to call for help. Ask someone to help you, don’t be prideful or shy. We all have a specific energy we give off, you don’t want to exude negativity around your baby. Have someone whether it’s your husband/boyfriend, family member or friend help you out. It can be with cooking, cleaning, or just even watching the baby while you take a quick power nap. I felt myself changing and becoming more angrier whenever my baby would cry hours on end and I was alone and thought to myself “I can do this” when in reality, I was falling apart.
- Trust your guts- Don’t listen to everyone’s view on parenthood. Yes, it’s wise to educate yourself with the whereabout’s and how-tos, but if you try something out and it’s just not working out like your friend’s baby or how your mother used to do it. You will understand your baby better than anyone else, just go with the flow, if your baby is comfortable a certain way, leave it. Every newborn is different, some are quieter, some eat more, some poop more etc… you get it right?
- Take a Little Break– This is probably something that I would suggest every single newborn mom do in the future. You are probably thinking, why would I want to leave my baby? Well don’t leave your child as soon as you come out of the hospital but take a break, its okay to get some fresh are and coffee for an hour with a loved one. As much as we have shifted all the attention from yourself to our children, we need to refocus on ourselves. You don’t want to lose yourself, treat yourself once in a while. Don’t forget that you matter! It doesn’t even have to be a date night, just go do something special, a facial, a shopping spree, brunch with your friends. Whatever your budget is, make it for you! When my husband used to come home, I would tell him I need to go to Walgreen’s. Honestly, I didn’t even need anything, I would just walk for 30 minutes. Yep, it might sound crazy but that was the time I needed away from my kids, to regain sanity.
If you are a new mom to be, how are you preparing?